Tuesday, 14 June 2016

It has been a while

Dah 2 minggu jadi intern kat Archicentre. So far so good. Not too stressful. Not stressful at all tbh. Im just going with da flow.

I think uni lagi stress but intern lagi letih... all those train rides. All those walking. All those dogs!!!

But i like it so far. Anyways its ramadhan.

I miss last year's ramadhan so so much. Heres something that i figured yesterday.

I think the only people who really knew me is my studiomates. (Apart from my family). Sbb kita 24/7 with each other. I feel like im kinda diff with other people. Bukan feel like in fact I know that i am diff with other people. I dont talk as much with other people.

And i kinda miss them. I miss berbuka with them at the studio... gosh i hate them hahaha. Taknaklah rindu sgt nnti menyesal. Gi mampoz semua.

Sometimes i feel so overwhelmed by books / music. Those 2 are the things tht i surround myself with.

But lets focus on books bcs i think its better to talk about books... takdalah lagha sgt. I feel like... so tiny bila bersebelahan dengan buku -- dengan ilmu. Ada satu puisi ni from high school. Tajuk dia Di Perpustakaan. I couldnt get tht line out of my head since the first time i read it. (Yg bold tu)

Maju ke ruang buku
Terlalu kerdil aku di sini
Terapung di laut ilmu
Tercurah berzaman
Dalam tak terselam
Betapapun kulayari
Bahtera ilmu di sini
Tak terteroka
Yang akan kucatat
Hanya setitik dari tinta
Yang akan kupetik
Hanya sebiji dari mutiara
Engkau adalah pusaka moyang
Gedung peradaban insan
Terhimpun berzaman

U feel me? Bila pergi kedai buku i feel SO TINY. What am i. Not even a single percentage of me, secebis pun tidak - ada apa yang laut itu miliki.

Gosh. Please. When i think about it more n more. tu baru buku. What about Allah's knowledge????? -- no matter how big u r, its still Allahu Akbar. So true.

I wanted to talk about lgi satu benda but dah terlupa. Mai tgk boleh recall ke x.

Food? No. Love?? Not really. Attitude... yes.

Fake it till u make it.

I guess thats who i am right now. Im faking it till i make it. Deep inside i want someone to care about me. I like it when i have someone special to talk to. But im faking it all -- so that i dont have to layan perasaan.

I know this is not true but im making it true > quoted from Blair of Gossip Girl.

 "We are not servants to our emotions. We can control them, suppress them, stomp them out like bugs."

Hahahaha. Blair wat heb u dan 2 mi brain?