Monday, 23 May 2016

A Weird Ritual

I often find myself listing down negative things tht happened in ma life. but tbh, i have serious trust issues. its hard for me to trust anyone with anything. people often say that they wont tell anyone abt it and BlalalAlala but they often do the opposite.

thus, as an alternative, i always write about my problems in my journal. i pOUR literally pooUr my emotions in it till I feel like... slightly -- empty?

all i could see is my problems, cloudy days, and basically the emo side of me lol. then the other day i decided to list down the positive things as well.

ended up with 17 positive things and only 5 things that makes me sad???

see, its true what they said, happiness is a frickin choice! u need to decide wht u want n just simply make it happen!!!


Thursday, 12 May 2016

Purple Haze

Feeling a tad bit happier

Sometimes, I feel like I dont have a purpose in this world. Especially when I'm (sorry for getting this far) on my period.

If you're a guy and you're sensitive about stuff like this, please feel free to exit.

Hahaha. It's like I don't have a purpose and I hate that feeling.
I hate the fact that I can't solat.
I know, i know, it's easier mcm to travel whatsoever, i can go out whenever
i can sleep whenever i want without worrying will I miss my subuh prayer.

Tapi I just hate it, because it makes me feel off.
Hah. That's something isn't it.

Anyway, I've been digging thru my brother's room, di mana letaknya most of my old stuff. Currently I dont have any room, i tidur di ruang tamu. So thats the main cause of me - feeling lost. But I'm alright.

Apparently, I have like 5 novels that I really wanted to read before I went to Uni. But I didnt bring any to SI because lets be real for a sec here.

There's no time to read anything over there. The only thing i can commit to is the Quran. Notes for classes pun jarang... jarang... jarang sangat sentuh, apatah lagi if I bring novels en.

So, I think im gonna start reading again. And i've been writing again; which is good. I love to write journals. And i've been watching movies again, which is surprisingly good. And i've been listening to music again, which is also good.

Malas nak explain but I think I should, so that I'd remember why I did the things i did.

I am attached to routines. I need routines in my life in order to function properly.

Masa I first entered UiTM, god knows how hard i had time adjusting myself. Thank god for my Shah Alam friends; all of them, i repeat, all of them. I would never forget their good deeds and how they helped me survived thru my first semester.

The playlist that made me thru it was "Happy to be Home" @ Spotify and New Girl was really helpful as well. I created a new routine for 2 years.

And since I'm home, I feel like everything is lost. I know it sounds silly. Tapi I have nowhere to unleash my creativity and I feel like i'm unable to create anything. Because I was feeling creative mainly in my studio @ SI, so bila balik sini I feel somewhat blank. Especially when I'm not surrounded by my old stuff - kan i tido kt ruang tamu kn.

So... i dug thru my old things, found my old journals, found my old books, u know, Shah Alam things.

And i figured it all out, I need to create a new routine, then and only then i can adjust to my surroundings.

Ahah! No one could ever understand what i wrote but this is a #notetoself hahaha.

So... i'm currently working on it. Started a journal again, started reading again, started cooking. YAPP. Masak beb. Masak. Who could ever thought of that. I hope I can easily adjust to my surroundings but I guess thats just not my nature. Maybe I'll be like that soon... satu hari nanti.

You know they often say, certain things takes time.

Here's a song that made complete sense to me at this moment haha. It's John Mayer - Perfectly Lonely. Have a good day peeps.

And dapat results Uni today. Kinda happy with the outcome :)

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Good movies to watch

If you are feeling lovey dovey, give this movie a go. - p.s I love you
here are some screenshots of the movie, pretty cheesy. but i love it. cried from the beginning till the end. yup, im emotional to that extend.

next, is HER
such a unique way to be in love again, i'd say
menyelami suatu yang mungkin

brilliant movie. what more should i say, give it a go > this is the movie
and the cinematography is sooooooo goood and it makes me feel so warm
please... dear friends, excuse the nude scenes